朋友可以分享吗

跟w讲，我认识了一个很好的中国男生，她说，快介绍给我。为什么？好的，我当然自己留下。

这就是跟想找男朋友，或者想找新男朋友的单身女生朋友间的冲突。怎么分享朋友，尤其是男性朋友。我和l绝对没有分歧，因为大家的品位着实不同，可是当面对一个对什么男生都有兴趣的单身女朋友的时候该怎么办？

不能大家一起玩，最起码暂时不行。不能加他为facebook好友，也是最起码暂时不行。这是为了女性朋友间的友谊考虑，也是为了自己的利益着想。

不禁感叹，女人呀。。。

Baby it's cold outside

This title is from Norah Jones, a Jazz song, Baby it's cold outside.

So who is your boyfriend? A westerner or a Asian? I am sure that Asian will say, baby, it's cold outside, how is about your german boy friend gonna to say when it snows outside?

I have to admit there is a huge difference between Asian boy and Westerner (or here I'd would like to say German boys). Once W concluded, "I have no interested in German boys any more. Because, german are ideal for dating, but never gonna be a good husband. " Talked to a friend yesterday, she said, with german, my life is my life, your life is your life. For, at least, Chinese, when two are together, your life is my life, my life is your life, two ppl are real "Together". I was joking, well for me, it is better, your life is your life, and my life is your life, haha. Well, you know, nothing is perfect.

German are independent, especially personality independent. For German, when I like you and you like me, then they are together. Man do not really "After" a girl.Of course, they will do romantic things but man do not need to pay too much. When the feeling is fading, well, it is time to say good bye. And after that, two still could be friends. Chinese are a little bit different. Boys should do sth for girls which so called "test". After certain tests, girls will be with boys, well, if the girl also likes the boy. And there is one principle, you'd better never after a boy. Chinese boys do not like positive girls, they prefer to be the controller. Well, definitely, German are opposite. As my language partner told me, in Germany, you have to talk to boy first or at least you need to give a hint, otherwise, you could wait for your Mr.right, forever.... (what the hell, no wonder German women are famous for there strong characters).... And when the relationship start, german pay more attention to feeling, chinese concentrate on details. So, this is part of culture different. I can't not say anything about marriage, because I never go through that part, well, I even doubt if I have the chance. Being single and fabulous !!!!

Apple or organ, which one is your favorite? It really depends on you...

what do we need from dating?

I met someone in a club, w met someone in a house party.

We both dated with them, of course, separately. But, she dated with a Korean young boy, I dated with a German young boy who is studying law, so i could call him law boy. Yes, both of them are younger than us. Two type of ppl me and w and two type of guys as well.

I am following my feeling. After two dates with the law boy, I gave up. I have no feeling with him at all. And I am struggling should i meet him again or not? If we meet, that really means sth gonna happen which is absolutely not my will. So my question is if you do not like someone should you continue to date? W said, of course, you should.

She is happy with the korean boy. He is young, but cute, not a real experienced hanging with girl guy, but at his age, he is good enough. He knows how to make girls laugh. W's principle to my question is that, we need someone accompany. We need someone who admires us and tells us you are great and gives us more confident. We need man around us to let us know that we are still attractive and charming. We need man around us to LOVE us...

But why we can't give these to ourself? Are we so afraid of being alone? Are we so afraid of being forget? Or we are girls and we need to be loved.

So, we do not need a real relationship before we meet Mr.right. But we need date to prove that we are great. I am sad to write these down, because that means we are not strong enough.... am I?

How do you think about Sex and the City?

My life was chaos with boys.

I was serious with everything whole of my life. I was serious with my study, my daily life, my job and of course boys too. I am the kind of people who never try the impossible boys but rather wait for the true love, just wait... So my life is passing by like I am a nun... Then one day, I asked myself, why I have no boy friend? I though I am an intelligent women so I demand high standards of my man. He must be attractive (I mean good looking), funny, smart, open-minded, self-confident, warmhearted, successful and so on. But is there this kind of man really exiting? Frankly speaking, I have no answer for that....

With this question, I went out with two other female friends who share the similar miserable questions with me together. We talked. Both of them have boy friends, but they are not happy. Wei's problem is, she wants to get marry but her boyfriend does not. And Lei's problem is vice versa-- her boyfriend wants to get marry but she does not. So, suddenly, I realized, I know nothing about man. And I know nothing about relationship.

Of course, I am not a nun. I had relationships. But non of them is long, not longer than 1 year. why is this happen? I do not know. Sometimes I am interested in a man, but after a while, maybe 2 weeks, the feeling is gone. Sometimes, men are interested in me, but most of time I do not want to give them chance. Well, sometimes, when I am interested in someone, he does not like me. So why why why why?

While I am single, so it is ok I am bothered by these questions. But why my female friends are not happy with their relationship? People are together, but they are not happy?

With all these questions, three of us decided to find the answer out. How? We trust only the reality and practice explains everything. We decided to go out and date with different boys.

It is absolutely not the real sex and the city. The whole story from the movie is too far away from normal life. But the sprite of being an independent women, enjoying the currently life, purchasing our own happiness encourages, at least me, a lot.

I want to be a happy girl, a real happy girl who is self confident, independent, attractive, mature. And I want to know man. I do not want to be kind of bitch who is sleeping or dating with random everyone man she met. But I want to know how man is thinking. In case, when I meet my true love, I won't miss it out. That is why I decided to go out with other two. And who knows what gonna happen? Well, in fact, something did happen.

I would like to write these down. Sometimes, they are interesting, sometimes they are sad, sometimes they are ending with nothing. But, I live in the real life, not a story or movie, so reality is reality, a little bit cruel, a little bit bitter, but a little bit sweet as well.

do i accept dresden?

Most of time, I am missing Australia, but not China.

I was born in China and was 24 when I finished my university study I went to Australia for my PhD. I stayed there for 4 years, a period of time not very long, not very short too. I can not be considered as Australian but I really love that country. But in 2009, because of my character nature, which is always changing, I came to Dresden for working. I still can not speak German too much. I feel one's resistance to learning the language reflects the extent of how accepts a city as a home or even as a place you live. So in my heart, it is hard to view Dresden or evern Germany as my adopted city as I ultimately lack that sense of belonging. Or maybe VC, because I can't speak its language so I can't make myself feel I belong to this city.

But after nearly 2 years living here, my feeling toward the city are complicated: resistant yet embracing at the same time. I know many new places which I know I never ever could find in OZ ,or at least in Geelong. The jazzbar, the travel leacture bar, the sports film, the local european or international independent film playing cinema, a bunch of ppl who play the music... after all, I've lived here for 2 years and I tried to know this city better, even if I've no sense of belonging here and I still can't speak too much German, but I can't avoid the inevitable and profound impact the city has on me.






so here is Dresden, a little bit culture, a little bit history, a little bit everything

i am not a cooking fans

i love food, but i am not a cooking fans.

seldom i cook at home. first, i live along. it does not make sense, that i spend 1 or 2hours to prepare food but finish it in 10mins, no no no, no fun. secondly, i have no patient to cook. cutting the beans? cutting the potatoes? cutting even the chicken? no no no , too much for me. yes, then the normal excuse, i have no time. at this moment, i work in the morning from 7am until afternoon at 16pm, then i go for german course from 17pm to 19:30pm, someday, after that i even need to meet language partner or do some sports, where is the time come from?

but sometimes, when i am really in the mood i cook too. such as


but this chicken was not from me....

a cute girl who i learn german with

I met my first german-english language partner yesterday. she is a cute girl. we met in a cafe, but both of use order a cocktail, that is the first common we have. great.

before we met she send me her photos and told me that she is a freelancer. i am curious about her. because i am person has a job and not free at all. all the freelancer for me sound interesting and mysterious. in fact, she is making bag at home, she designs, makes and sells. and the reason why she wants to be a freelancer is that she could not find a job relate to her study in Dresden, but she does not want to move away. it is a kind of freelancer out of my imagination. i thought all the freelancer are photographer, translator, artists and so on. i thought ppl turn to be freelancer because they do not like being closed into the office and who desire freedom. but i am wrong. again, the real life teach me how narrow sight i own... open mind, it is not means thinking more, but thinking as a real person, and thinking all the possibility even from the most nature of real life...

there is nothing too much to record for our first conversation. the content is quite normal as a first meet. will see what gonna happen.

had a no ending happiness talk with jasmine this morning. the topic is serious--open relationship. i am afraid i am not ready to write about our conversation, but it was great, honest, open and enjoyable.


learning a new concept from internet, street photography, but i prefer call it street shoot. yes, i am a huge fan of street shoot. the moment of a story or a look of someone's face captured by the photographer always make me excited. life is unpredictable. we have no idea what gonna to happen next single second, is not that fascinating we use our camera to shoot that particular moment? and we are living in this world, your country, your city, even the street maybe you step on many times everyday. what happened there? that is what i care about. so i love street shoot. and i will try to do sth for it, because i live where and when i am living....



i c this buidling everyday on my way to work, a typical eastern germany building. nothing fancy but with the mark of history ...